A Basher?

I got to wondering if I was racist or maybe a better word is a bigot or maybe just insensitive. I don’t know why I got to thinking this, but I often have these kinds of conversations with myself and so I thought I would express those thoughts, in a forum where, well … where darn near anyone can see them, but doesn’t.

I often use the word “gay” in my every day conversation, either with myself or on the off chance that I am actually speaking to someone other than myself. (Have I ever mentioned how often I talk to myself? Well I do it and I do it a lot, talk to myself that is. This blog actually is somewhat of a reflection as to what goes on inside my head, though I do sensor myself regularly) But I degress…

Lets just say I catch my husband watching Rachael Ray and I’ll say, “You’re so gay,” or “That’s so gay,” actually let me take that back, he would never watch Rachael Ray, because he hates her, but he will watch Bobby Flay, that Countessa chick and Iron Chef, and I think those shows are all gay. (I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it) I do this all the time, say this or that is gay. I call people gay, even when they aren’t or even when they are, I even call my obsession with America’s Next Top Model, a little gay ok it’s really, really gay.

Another example, A few months ago we were discussing getting a board game for when Spanky and #2 were here. My Hubby was asking me whether or not they would play board games, and I said, “Well Spanky will because she is gay like that, and #2, he will tolerate it if everyone else wants to play.” And the Hubs responded “Wow that’s an awful big generalization isn’t it?” (You see because Spanky really is a lesbian, as in, she really is gay.) And so then I had to clarify…. “No, no, no I didn’t mean she is a lesbian therefore she likes to play board games, no, it has nothing to do with her sexuality. I mean she is gay as in wearing plaid golf pants to a barbeque is gay.”

Additionally I’ll use the word “retarded” in the same way. And I mean no offense to those with handicaps. I have a very warm spot in my heart for people with developmental disabilities. I guess actually I don’t call people with handicaps retarded, I reserve that term specifically for those that cut me off in traffic, though its usually proceeded with an expletive, or when someone says something totally stupid I will throw the retard card out there.

And while I know I use these terms in the derogative, I don’t mean any harm or offense, though isn’t that what everyone says? I mean I crack jokes and make generalizations in reference to myself as well, but does that make it right or really all that wrong? Jokes about being corn fed, white trash, a porch monkey all sorts of things, because a part of me epitomizes all those things, and no one says anything when you are making fun of yourself or using a derogative in reference to yourself. Though I guess I could say that I am both gay and retarded because I do have the tendency of being a little on the slow side in reference to catching on to jokes or not knowing when someone is pulling a fast one on me. And additionally I am of the belief that almost everyone is a little gay and even people who say that they are gay are even a little straight. Don’t get me wrong there are those on the polar’s of the gay/straight scale, but more often than not, most people lie somewhere in the middle. Take me for example, on a scale of 1-7, one being very straight and 7 being very gay, I would say I was a 2 or a 3. I’m straight but definitely have some homosexual tendencies. So since I’m a little gay, doesn’t that mean I can use the term anyway I want?

I guess what it comes down to, is this…to be my friend you have to be able to take a joke, laugh at yourself and laugh at me. And ya I might be insensitive, so put your man panties on and your extra layer of skin and lets go. Or you can also just tell me to shut the H E double hockey sticks up.