Three Wishes…

I keep this far off fantasy in my head that some day I’m going to be walking down the street or maybe I’ll be hiking on some out of the way trail, searching for mushrooms or maybe a long lost cave, and I’ll stumble across a leprechaun or a treasure chest with genie in a bottle (gonna rub you the right way….sorry) will be among the treasure I find. I mean don’t people stumble across leprechaun’s and genie’s on a fairly frequent basis, I don’t think this is such a crazy kind of pie in the sky

If I were lucky enough to come across such a stupendous find, and were indeed granted three magical wishes, I’ve often thought, long and hard about what those three wishes would be. Of course I would first try to wish for more wishes, but I’m thinking my genie or leprechaun will have a stipulation on that. So in that case, I would have 3 wishes and solely three wishes.

Wish Numero Uno

My first wish is not for money alone, I mean I guess I could just wish for like a 100 billion dollars, but I don’t want to just be rich, I want to be rich and legendary. I want to leave a legacy.

So my first wish would be that I would be granted the talent to write an innumerable amount of bestselling books. That way, I kinda get two wishes taken care of, to be an author and be rich. And being a writer, I get to leave something behind, something to forever be remembered, till the end of eternity if you will. (Yes these books will be that good, not to be blasphemous, but they’ll be better and more read than the Bible)

Plus, being a bestselling author, I’ll earn the money to get all the material stuff, like my ranch in Montana, my beach house in the Hamptons, my villa in Italy, and my cabin at Harry Strunk Lake. Oh and of course I’ll have Dubai build me an island and I’ll put a house out there as well.

And really one needs more than just a crap ton of money, I think I would get bored if I didn’t have anything to do, plus I’ve always wanted to be stopped on the street and asked to sign an autograph. See as an author one could be obscure enough as to not draw the paparazzi, but one might stumble across an unassuming fan one day at the grocery store.

My second wish

I’m torn on this, on the one hand I feel like I should share the wish, like I should wish for something like world peace, the end to world hunger, make education available to everyone. So I figure why not make me, the Supreme Leader of the World. I could accomplish all those things and there would somehow be a way to brainwash everyone so I wouldn’t have any dissenters or something.

This also will help Chauncy (doesn't he look like someone that should be taking over the world?) and I accomplish the goal we’ve had for a long time to take over the world. We sort of think of ourselves as the smartest people ever and clever as well, so we thought that at some point we’d just take over the world and place our dogs and friends in high ranking positions. I mean we really couldn’t do much worse than the current numbskulls attempting to lead various countries. I mean come on if Ahmananmanamanjad a Dabba Dabba Doo, can do it I think I can.

And my final wish

My last wish is completely selfish and totally unnecessary.

I absolutely loath Angelina Jolie, I hate her skelator body, her big ass lips, her stupid tattoos, she really isn’t that great of an actress, and more importantly I hate that she broke up Jen and Brad. I’m no dummy, I know it was her fault.

So I thought that I would take this anger towards her and I would just start adopting children from third world countries, while at the same time procreating with Mr. Vasey, to have my own. We’d basically create our own little army, then go and beat the crap out of her. (that would just be a bonus perk) And I would do it, you know ... just because I can.

I would snatch up all the children so that she, and while we are at it Madonna too, wouldn’t be able to. Why do I want to do this? I don’t know, I kinda couldn’t think of anything else I wanted, guess my imagination isn’t so great after all….

What are your 3 wishes?